love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
