That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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