We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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