She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
