you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
