Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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