Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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