At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
