I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just want nice things and good sex
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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