Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
