Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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