YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
