his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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