I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
