So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
