There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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