batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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