we have officially lost it.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
