Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
