It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
