We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So much Jack, so little girl.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
