covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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