And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
