can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
