apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
