I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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