i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
