no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
