it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
