I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
