I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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