FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
