I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
