I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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