How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
