This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
