Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
