Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
