I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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