it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
they need to just BURY HIM!
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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