k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
