I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
