I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
