Im at strip club and am horny
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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