The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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