Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
