And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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