alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
