Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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