if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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